Communication

How we choose to communicate, with pen, computer, voice, thoughts, actions or otherwise has a very different outcome on not only the message communicated but on ourselves. I love to engage in audio recordings of my self thoughts at this point. I get to say a lot and figure out just as much as I used to with writing journals. The end process of having catalogued and understood my thoughts is the same but the vehicle is different. There are so many teachers who offer different practices and encouragements to write, but it doesn't necessarily give any different outcome than another method of understanding your own thoughts. I started this by saying that the different methods of communication did something different from one another and now I am not sure that is true.

Currently as I type, I am reminded of automatic writing. I used to love doing that. I imagine that I could do a similar thing with voice. I am curious if one could use something like yoga or other movements as a method to complete the same process of self- evaluation in the same way that journalling allows. I think it must be an effective idea. I recall being in Mexico when I was 16. We were there on a church trip and, as can be expected, I wound up working in the kitchen on our day off. The woman there was born and raised in Mexico and had no English. I had shockingly poor Spanish but we were able to still share our hearts and communicate. I can remember little of what we actually said or even how many audible words were spoken but we connected through eye contact, smiles and a total sharing of laughter and ourselves. Perhaps that is all that journalling is, an attempt to share yourself, with yourself.

I find that there is one core lesson on which I focus for a period at a time. Over the last decade or so it has been about knowing that one is worthy. Not for any action or talent. Just that you are worthy. I could sing it and have pages and pages of that phrase written in journals of mine. At this point, the lesson seems to be remembering that god is in you. That you are god. Whatever it means to you, spirit, source, a religious god, or anything else, you are god already. It is inside you. I think that is likely to be the focus of the lesson that I am on right now. Remembering that, and getting to know that god inside me. That is likely what friendship is too. Connecting with someone who you recognize the god inside of and who can see yours. I love getting to know people and to understand that beauty inside them.

My handwriting has changed over the years as I have changed. Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I was able to print a capital N neatly, and precisely. It was like achieving a new level of success. I didn't know I was looking for it but when I saw myself do that letter well, I was shocked and delighted. That god inside me had been working on self growth and development and had met checkpoints and details that I was not even aware we were marching towards.

I am reminded of a quote from a friend years ago. I am sure it came from her religion but she said, “In the garden of thine heart, tend naught but the flower of love.” By doing that, by tending to love, and allowing it to be my focus, satellite benefits have grown around it too. My physical garden in my yard has a great many volunteer tomato plants, yet the marigolds that we tried to plant were not successful. I am glad to just keep working and know that whatever is made through this process at the end will be legible and useful.